From trauma to triumph: Kuils River businesswoman's inspiring story

Jill van As of Kuils River is determined not to let her traumatic past stand in the way of building a bright future — and inspiring others along the way.

The 45-year-old businesswoman is a cookbook author who runs a catering business and uses past experiences of sexual assault and four early pregnancy losses to motivate other women.

She recounted how she was raped in June 1998, at the age of 18, while she was a student at Damelin College.

She had occasionally seen the man on her daily train rides to school before he attacked her while she was home alone in Brackenfell.

“There was a security gate at the front door, and about two meters away from it was a table where we usually dropped the keys. My door was open, but the safety gate was locked. This person got the keys and attacked me in the house.

“I tried to crawl away. I tried to kick and scream—it didn’t help much, really. After it all happened, I managed to get away and locked myself in the room. I got the phone and called a friend I had at the time, and he came,” she said.

She said it was her friend who informed her parents about the ordeal after they returned home. 

She further explained that, at the time, she was unaware that bathing immediately after the incident could compromise evidence — a factor that later hindered efforts to secure justice, as the perpetrator remains at large.

About two weeks after the incident, she went shopping at Tyger Valley Shopping Centre with her parents and younger sister when three men entered the lift.

She said their entry shocked her, triggering memories of her experience.

“I literally cringed, and I moved to the back of the lift, and my dad took my hand, and he said, ‘I'm here to protect you,’ and my mom took my other hand. That showed me that not all men are bad. If I look at my friends, grandparents and my uncles, they made me feel safe and secure,” she said.

Ms Van As said the support she received from the New Apostolic Church played a significant role in her healing process. Still, the ordeal continues to haunt her in her sleep at times, despite having undergone therapy. 

She often finds herself acting with caution, even around friends, sitting near exit doors and keeping her belongings close, just in case she needs to make a quick escape.

Chapter 2 of a 2015 study by Professor Anita Padmanabhanunni, dean of the faculty of community and health sciences at University of the Western Cape, titled The Phenomenology of Rape in South Africa, concluded that rape victims often face not only feelings of helplessness, powerlessness, anger, self-blame, guilt, and shame — but also the risk of hurtful reactions from loved ones and the burden of social stigma. 

“Rape represents the only trauma for which the victim is held partially or completely responsible for the assault,” the chapter stated in closing.

Counselling psychologist Rone Gerber agreed with this sentiment, adding that it could further worsen the survivor’s suffering.

“Once a person's trust is broken and they start to feel that there is something wrong with them, they often tend to withdraw from interaction with family and friends. 

“They can become lonely, feel misunderstood and struggle with feelings of worthlessness. This can lead to the development of serious mental health concerns such as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Major Depressive Disorder(MDD) and Anxiety,” she said.

However, on Wednesday, July 9, the national commissioner of police, General Fannie Masemola, stated that 2,611 suspects had been arrested for rape across the country since the beginning of April

He was speaking at a media briefing in Vanderbijlpark, Gauteng, where police were overseeing a firearm destruction operation.

Ms Van As told Northern News that she then had four early pregnancy losses from 2007 until 2011.

“After the last miscarriage, I actually sat down and I thought about it and I was angry at God. I felt less of a woman. It was the loss of my child. My child existed,” she said.

But she has now accepted her situation and enjoys spoiling her nieces, building her marriage, and achieving her goals.

She established her catering business toward the end of 2009 and went on to win the Business Person of the Year Award that was presented by Western Cape Business Opportunities Forum (WECBOF) and Absa in 2011.

She was the runner-up in the Emerging Business category of the provincial Premier's Entrepreneurship Recognition Awards in 2013. 

In 2014, she also reached the semi-finals of Think Big – Building Business Champions, a 10-week reality TV series on SABC3.

The show, sponsored by Standard Bank, featured 12 small and medium enterprises selected from hundreds of businesses across various sectors of the economy.

She published the Epicurean Journal in February 2023, a cookbook that features recipes and quotes inspired by her cherished memories. Each recipe is accompanied by her personal anecdotes.

“It is only when I wrote my first book that I could forgive the person who raped me. I thought I did, but I never did until I revisited this traumatic experience, and I took back my power. To be honest, you never get over it. So, for me, the kitchen is the heart of the home — food is love,” she said.

Two years ago, she hosted an inclusive event titled Look at Me Now, for people who wish to celebrate one another, for all genders and ages - and she is currently organising another one scheduled for next month.